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Mon, 11 Apr 2016 7:20 am BST- Light Rain
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Wind 2.0 mph @ 40°
48.0°F/8.89°C Humidity 93% Pressure 29.65 (S)

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Posted By Discussion Topic: Malanka 1953 - present

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Spider
May-23-2013 @ 7:47 PM                           Permalink
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quote:"......
Any better? Hands up all you naughty people who thought I was referring to something else!!
......."


Yes, and with good reason!

fidear45
May-23-2013 @ 9:10 PM                           Permalink
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I am so pleased the broads had their effect Spider.......

Now I know why the deck running was not noticed...

Life is too short

M&F

Forum Girly Swot 11.02.2011

fidear45
May-24-2013 @ 2:42 PM                           Permalink
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The journey to Acle from Ranworth was glorious, the sun was shining and the wind was light and not too chilly. I apologise to anyone who saw me after the Ant mouth as I may have removed my T shirt for a minute or two to enjoy the sunshine on my back. Despite entreaties to do likewise neither of the ladies on board wished to follow suit, although after applying sunscreen to their exposed limbs they then proceeded to remove cardies and jumpers leaving strappy tops behind (see how in touch with my feminine side I am..) which resulted in a few pink areas later in the day. It was at this point with the sun beating down on my now overheated jean clad legs that the idea of wearing shorts came into my mind, my legs inside the jeans were roasting. The sun was lovely and I like wearing shorts when the sun is shining as it feels more natural.
Unfortunately for some reason Fiona had paid more attention than normal to the MO (Moron Office) oops Met Office weekend forecast, and that said clouds and rain…Well, we had no clouds and lots of sun so the MO was up to its recent very low standard of accuracy. This had the obvious impact on my wardrobe alternatives as it meant that Fiona had packed two pairs of jeans in addition to the Chinos I had been wearing on Friday, but no shorts.
If I was to get my legs out it would have to be with accompanying undergarments. I considered this for about three microseconds and then decided that with young ladies of a delicate disposition on board it was a no way jose moment. In reality the passing a few moments before this by the paddle steamer from Horning and being photographed by numerous members of the broads going public probably had a lot more to do with it than anything else.

After finishing laughing at my dilemma and chuckling to herself Fiona disappeared from the wheelhouse and returned with three mugs of T, OK it was 2 teas and one coffee but you knew what I meant.
For some reason I can’t yet fathom Charlie spent a considerable portion of the journey to Acle standing on the coach house roof and looking about, not quite sure why she did this but Fiona did manage to get photographic evidence of miss skinny standing there without a care in the world, other than how to get home now these bozos have kidnapped me.

We were not doing the wine just yet as we had only sort of kidnapped Charlie for the day. We were heading to Acle bridge to spend the night and her car was in Stalham,  and so some means of getting from A to B was required if she was to leave Malanka on Monday morning and get to work in Essex by 8 am.

After arriving at Acle and finding the mooring opposite the pub free we spun round to come in against the prevailing wind and tide and moored easily against the quay heading. I dropped extra fendage over the quay heading so that mini did not get bashed about by the metal pilings and we settled down to call a cab to get Charlie to Moonfleet to pick up her car and bring it back to Acle.
How difficult is it to get a taxi on a Sunday in Norfolk? Well to judge by the number of different cab companies that Charlie called, very difficult indeed!!! One after another they either didn’t come that far (firm in Wroxham) were out on a job (in Leicester) or not answering the phone. None of this was helping to calm Charlie down in the slightest and she was prowling about with a storm on her usually very calm face. My suggestion that she stop a passing car and hitch a lift to Stalham (the suggested method of car stopping being a common call from building sites to attractive young ladies) earned me a withering stare that would chill the blood of even the most determined of misogynists. After chastising me for my (in my view) entirely helpful suggestion, Charlie decided to give it one last go with the number given to her by the guy in Leicester. Bingo it worked, cab arranged, smile on face, mood immediately lighter, time to crack open the wine and begin the slow preparation for dinner. Charlie is not normally one for much slap (makeup) but tonight she and Fiona were going to put their faces on, some nice going out clothes and have a good time. Justin and I of course would have a shower and change our shirts. It’s much easier for blokes.  
Charlie disappeared to Moonfleet to get her car and so I made use of the free bathroom and had a shower. When she returned we all went into the garden to enjoy a beer and a sit in the sun. Boris met a rather feisty and fun Yorkshire terrier female that seemed to want to bark at his ankles , it would have been his face but she could not see that high up. The little terrier was a cute little yorkie that probably weighed in at 1/30 of his weight. Fiona and I gave her a cuddle and received some tiny tiny, licks by way of doggie greeting. Immediately Boris saw the little yorkie licking us he had to come over and make sure our faces were ok and this he did with his rather more substantial licking technique and of course some ninja paw action thrown in.

We had a lovely sit on the benches until it dawned on us that moving to the comfy chairs on the boat would be quite a bit nicer too. We sat and sipped for what seemed like an age then finished our beers took the glasses back to the pub and then sat some more and sipped some chilled white. By now the wind was a little bit keener than earlier so we put the top back up and continued our preparations for the evening, which included locating various less white areas like one spot on the shoulder or the V of the neckline where the sun had beaten the application of the sunscreen earlier in the day. Charlie was positively glowing in the gathering gloom.
Somehow we got round to the topic of parties and how we had all been invited to a birthday party where dancing into the night would be encouraged if not expected. Charlie would be coming with us to the party and she was adamant that “this girl don’t do no dancing”.

Fiona and I looked at each other and she was the first to react, “rubbish girl, what’s the problem”,  she cried, and leapt up and grabbed Charlie by the hands. Fiona then proceeded to wiggle and jiggle and do all those things ladies do at the zumba classes she has been going to. The mixed look of horror, terror, or just ordinary OMG was a sight to see. “I can’t do that” she said, backing away from the whirling dervish in front of her. “my hips definitely won’t do that”, she said pointing at Fiona’s quite amazing range of hip movement. I of course had a silly grin on my face as I wasn’t aware of that range of movement possibilities either. We hadn’t been dancing for ages and by the standards I remembered from the last time I looked, things were certainly looking up.
As Fiona explained “I have been going to zumba for months now and you should see some of the ladies there, this is nothing”. I made a mental note to file for future reference and just laughed at the continuing look of horror on Charlie’s face.
At this point a slower tune came on the radio so I took my chance and swept Charlie up into a more traditional dance pose more typical of a walz or other such style. “Just follow my lead”,  I said as I swept Charlie into a slow box step round the wheelhouse, accompanied by laughing and clapping from Fiona. Charlie seemed to be more comfortable with this and we danced round for a few moments giggling the whole time. A more earthy tune started on the radio and then the three loonies on Malanka all tried to zumba like Fiona for a few minutes, feet tapping, arms swinging and hips moving vaguely with the beat of ca plan pour moi by Plastic Bertrand.

It was a mad few minutes and as the music ended we all collapsed onto the seats to sip some wine and hope that no-one in the pub garden had seen the impromptu disco, Malanka style.  

Charlie was still not convinced but both Fiona and I were adamant that come the party, Charlie would be dancing.

As the adrenaline from the lunacy in the wheelhouse was fading it was time to get ready to go out. Dinner at the bridge was waiting for us.

The meal in the bridge was fantastic, I tried something I had seen from a distance but not sampled before, the sausage with onion gravy in a big Yorkshire pudding.

Needless to say it was superb, but the next time I will ask for two plates and Fiona and I would share it. Simply put, its massive and way more than I can comfortably consume. Fiona had the whale, Charlie had the garlic chicken, and Justin had the traditional steak and Ale pie, which is usually my personal preference. All cooked to perfection and served with a smile by the great staff at the bridge.

After dinner we decided to go play on the 2p machines and have a little fun. Whack a shark was first and a great laugh, I could barely hold the mallet I was laughing so much.
The biggest winner was of course the change machine which paid out all the time we were there, we rolled, dropped and flung two pence pieces in all directions until the change was used up then headed back to Malanka to chill out before bedtime.

Bedtime would be early tonight as Charlie was leaving very early in the morning, but we still wanted to wind down and enjoy the last night afloat. So we sat first in the wheelhouse and then later in the saloon and sipped a last glass of wine (Brandy in the case of the ladies). The conversation turned to Fiona's remarkable zumba classes and how supple she was these days, then planking came up (whatever that is) and the two ladies accompanied by fits of giggles then proceeded to show each other their exercise regimes!

This would make very interesting reading but the tale of two ladies in nice dinner clothes (including bare legs) planking in the saloon would not be suitable for our younger readers or others with high blood pressure.

We said goodnight to Charlie and wished her well with her class of primates …OOOps primary school children, and told her that we would be thinking of her as we cruised up the Ant tomorrow morning, bacon and sausage sandwiches accompanied by steaming mugs of tea all the way.

As Fiona and I retired for the evening we noticed that Boris the turncoat was nowhere to be seen. A little bit of investigation located him curled up next to Charlie snuggled in tight and looking very comfortable and toasty warm.

Charlie left quietly at 05:30 the next morning and headed off to work. Boris had wanted to go with her but, very reluctantly, she zipped him back in the wheelhouse and he settled down to sleep with a tired Hummph sound. It had been a super weekend.


Life is too short

M&F

Forum Girly Swot 11.02.2011

Charlie
May-25-2013 @ 10:29 PM                           Permalink
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Hmmm I'm still not overly convinced on the dancing front but yes I did have a fantastic weekend. Fabulous company and the sun came out too.  I did indeed go home a little pinker than usual.  And considerably more tired too. It's not often that 'Miss' turns up to school having already driven home from Norfolk and I have to confess that the class possibly got away with a little more than they normally would. I hit 'the wall' at about 5pm when having been up for twelve hours the staff meeting I was in suddenly became slightly less than riveting.

Charlie

8 x forum girly swot & Official Aston Anorak

fidear45
May-28-2013 @ 2:13 PM                           Permalink
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Sunday 19th May Cont’d…

Something I forgot to mention in the last installment of this tale was that whilst Charlie was out fetching her car, a vaguely familiar lady wandered up to Malanka and we had a bit of a chat. After about five minutes I sort of worked it out into my thick head that this lovely knowledgeable person was in fact  the Old Broads Bird popping over to say hello. What followed was thirty minutes of great conversation, memories and a good dollop of good old fashioned humour. Fiona and I had a lovely chat and we kind of remembered we had met before and quite a bit of time after she left it struck me that she had helped me moor up our hire boat when we first returned to the broads in 2006. (Broads Harmony) So you see some people are just kind of heart and true of soul and Old Broads Bird fits that category, a lovely lady welcome on Malanka any-time. Just make sure that next time you’re not driving so we can show you some true Belgian fermented grape juice style hospitality.  It was lovely to speak with you and I look forward to doing it again this summer, thank you for a lovely thirty minutes of your fascinating company.

Ok now onto Monday.

Monday was something of a let-down, after the mad excitement of late night planking, wheelhouse dancing and a little bit of fermented fruit beverage consumption, today I would have to drive home and so, tea and coke zero were my tipples for the day. The weather seemed to sense the anti-climax to the weekend and it was suitably dull when we finally woke up and decided to face the world.
I carefully donned my clothes in the hope that Boris would stay sleeping in the wheelhouse where he had lain since the departure of our weekend guest. I almost succeeded but the final giveaway was the shoes. Dogs must have some sort of doggie sense as to when the shoes go on, pants no problems, jeans no problems, socks no worries, sweatshirt slight stirring, shoes BAM, he’s there waggling his back end and searching for his lead with the front end.

I just gave in and let him out whereupon he just stood on the quayside and waited for me to finish putting on my shoes. I donned his lead in bandolero style and headed off down the row of boats encouraging Boris to run on ahead and dissipate some of that Airedale energy. Walking Boris is a new experience now as he is finally learning to cock his leg proper style rather than continue to do the puppy squat. He doesn’t do the leg cock every time but it’s funny to see all the same. What accompanies the leg in the air waving is of course the desire to sniff all the other nice doggie smelling places which he previously ignored and really couldn’t be bothered about. This means that I can get 30 or so metres ahead of him whilst he is sniffing out the competition and then the ground begins to shake as he rushes to catch up with daddy, tongue lolling, ears flapping and “spot the dog” style cantering along is the preferred method of locomotion chosen for this.   This all makes for another interesting phase of sharing our lives with Boris and brings a smile to my face every day.
We walked (well I walked Boris sniff cantered ) along the path all the way to the old pump house then turned round and ran back as fast as my old legs would carry me (not very fast is the answer). Out of breath and steaming we returned alongside Malanka and Boris waited patiently whilst I opened the canopy to let him in. Fiona was just in the process of putting his breakfast out into his bowl and so a low whimpering sound could be heard which fiona and I presume to mean “get a move on man I’m starving like a starving thing”. Canopy opened Boris charged on board and then sat waiting for the command that lets him eat his breakfast (or any other food for that matter). Fiona made him wait a few seconds then “good boy” was uttered and he proceeded to destroy his breakfast doggie food.

As the day was a little overcast we decided to pack up and just head back to Moonfleet to drop off Mini then take Malanka back to the shed so she could cuddle up to BA in her berth. By now I was feeling in need of some bacon and sausage sandwich therapy and so whilst I untied all the lines and made ready to depart, Fiona made breakfast and put the kettle on for the first of many mugs of the steaming elixir that is a well- made mug of tea..

There were not many boats about and apart from the usual mayhem that is Horning we had not seen many this trip. I am all for a quiet trip on the broads as there are not many finer ways to relax, but I do hope for everyone’s sake that the season picks up soon. We cruised slowly up the Bure and opened the throttle a bit in the six mph sections which Malanka seems to really enjoy. Eventually we turned into the Ant and slowed for the last portion of the journey back to reality and the six hour drive home waiting for me in Stalham. We met a few boats on the Ant although How Hill was practically deserted and only one other boat was visible to us as we crossed a rather choppy Barton Broad. We dropped Mini at Moonfleet and chatted with Phil about Fiona’s pet boat project, pull out drawers (on extending runners) under the sink in the galley. How I agreed to this extravagance I don’t know, but I must have because they are happening.  
We said our goodbyes and headed to the shed to moor up and unpack the boat. Justin and I unpacked the boat as Fiona walked back to Moonfleet to fetch the car. Very quickly now this has become a slick operation and external electrickery connected, gas off / disconnected and isolators activated we thanked Malanka for being such a good boat all weekend and headed home.

                   The End


Life is too short

M&F

Forum Girly Swot 11.02.2011

Charlie
May-29-2013 @ 10:20 PM                           Permalink
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Awwww you missed me and didn't have as much fun without me.
I'll remind you of this when you can't get rid of me.  Evil Grin
Worryingly, Boris would happily have come home with me. You could
have woken up to no dog walking responsibilities at all. I would have
loved it but as I went almost straight to school it probably would not
have gone down very well, although I suspect he may have been my
best behaved pupil for the day.

Charlie


8 x forum girly swot & Official Aston Anorak


This message was edited by Charlie on May-29-13 @ 10:32 PM

oldbroadsbird
May-30-2013 @ 8:11 PM                           Permalink
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Hi Malanka,
Thank you for your kind words - Yes, it could have been me in 2006 - I spent much of that Summer on the Broads.
Weather allowing, Little Goose and I will be round at Ranworth tomorrow.(Friday/Sat) My nephew has kindly offered to re introduce me to the delights of lashings of beer - and what nicer place to learn again those old and valued lessons!
Thank you for your hospitality and do give the lovely Boris a pat from me although I suspect a big bone would be rather more welcome.
Take Care,
Mary

broadsbird

fidear45
May-30-2013 @ 9:58 PM                           Permalink
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Thanks Mary

We had such a lovely chat and I really do look forward to seeing you on board Malanka again later this summer. Don't forget to sign up for the CinC.  We need folks to help organise the flotilla this year (as always) and I'm sure Tim would welcome the support.

M

Life is too short

M&F

Forum Girly Swot 11.02.2011

fidear45
Aug-02-2013 @ 3:16 PM                           Permalink
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OK its been a while since I wrote up a tale but this trip was such fun I wanted to share it with you all.

Malanka’s  Southern Cruise with Blue Dolphin.

Friday July 19th.
After the obligatory stop in Long Stratton (the Chip Inn) for a chip supper we arrived at Moonfleet just after ten pm. This wasn’t a bad effort as we left work at just after 4pm.
Only 5 minutes before arrival and after seven hours of driving one local loony decided to try and write us off by slamming the anchors on because he believed we had our lights on full beam and this was his way of asking me to extinguish them. Fortunately for him we avoided such irresponsible behavior and after I had illuminated the interior of his vehicle by actually employing said full beam I felt much better. The car has xenon headlights and they are very, very, bright. The car is also a 4x4 and so they are mounted quite high up as well. Oh well never mind we all hoped this would be the last piece of stupidity we would witness this holiday. Anyone guess where this is going then???
Saturday 20th July
My Saturday morning activity was all planned, retrieve Minimal’s sailing bits and pieces from lock up, clean both boats, fill up the water tanks and go off down river at a steady two donkey power. Fiona, Helena, and Justin headed into Stalham to assault the butchers for our usual pork and chilli Jam pies plus  other assorted excellent pork products aimed at feeding the starving minions of the Malanka crew.
We would need a hearty breaky today as we were going to meet up with Blue Dolphin later. She of course is based in Beccles and we are based in Stalham… We were going to make it easier by meeting at Somerleyton at some time after 16:30 hrs or so. GY slack calculated, I knew we had to be on our way by 10:30 or so as I didn’t want to zoom anywhere at the speed limit just to get to somewhere else. I was going to enjoy this trip at a reasonable hour with the top down and the wind in my hair. So when the shore party (food) didn’t return at the promised 10:00 hrs and the weather was beginning to look a little less like sunny go topless (or Baps out as this is referred to aboard) and much more like pee down drizzly get wet (or normal Malanka holiday weather as this is referred to aboard) a seven or eight hour journey in the rain was not filling me with the expected joy of the first day of our holiday.
Christian and I filled, retrieved, washed, scrubbed and did all the stuff we had planned then we sat and waited with Boris for the shore party to return. Heavy footfalls on the wooden quay heading announced the arrival of the wanderers. “Why is it” said Helena in a decidedly grumpy tone (she is a teenager) “that whenever we come on the boat we get dross weather”, she didn’t say this to anyone in particular more sort of a general offering to the gods of holiday weather and a heartfelt plea for a better  weather outlook that the forecast was giving us. “It’s not that bad” I added as I adjusted the wet and dripping hair from over my eyes.   Oh well the weather will do what the weather wants no matter what, so we just cracked on and made the most of unloading the bags, then loading up the fridge and then drink storing in the multitude of storage locations available, that normally precedes us setting off down river.
Half way through this process I realized the time was now 11:15 and we needed to get going if we were not to miss tides, bridge heights, and all that other stuff I don’t think about for weeks and then re-remember every time we are afloat. So I left Fiona to the unpacking and stores loading and assumed the captains prerogative of getting out of the way.
So, mug of tea in hand (it not yet being wine o’clock ) I fired up the trusty 3.8L BMC that is our motive power and briefed the crew on the departure procedure I wanted to use. We backed away from the quayside into mid river and slowly headed away from Moonfleet for the start of what was to be a very fun filled and exciting weeks cruising the Southern Broads. Destination Somerleyton…

Last night when we had arrived I had thought to rainex the screens but due to not wanting to be faffed I went to bed instead. Now with a steady drizzle falling that decision came home to roost. We have removed the wipers (not that they were brilliant in any case) from Malanka as part of last winter’s screen maintenance, this has two benefits.
1.     She looks much better without them
2.     We have lost two inches of air draft
The downside is that if it’s not raining hard the usual blurred vision squint develops to see past the raindrops. Oh I do wish I had rainexed the screen…
As we pootled we again commented, as on every other trip this year, that “it’s really quiet where is everyone” . As I was driving along Fiona mentioned that she had been asked in the shops why the kids weren’t in school? This happens from time to time so we just give the correct answer, their holiday started on the 26th of June and they don’t go to school in the UK. This usually leads to questions around how many weeks they do get in the summer and the answer is they get 9 weeks break so it’s a long old haul until the start of term in August.

We passed How Hill without seeing much river traffic and the drizzle continued to fall, although the temperature was slowly climbing to quite a respectable 23 degrees. The sky was dull and there was almost no wind at all. We passed under Ludham bridge with no drama, tooted a greeting to Jason and turned the corner to be greeted by the sight of multitudes of forum boats and firm friends all waving and shouting a greeting. Boris not to be out done started whining and wuffling as he caught sight of Dylan the dorg.  We slowed to a crawl and explained that we couldn’t stop as we had an appointment with the GY bridges and time and tide wait for no man. We said our farewells and see you on Fridays (for the CinC) and headed into the Bure. We were behind schedule but hopefully not too far that we couldn’t make up some time without exceeding the limits. Some time at 5mph and we were soon back on track and heading past Acle bridge with the tide under us. GY here we come!!
As we approached GY, Fiona took the helm as she had never done the journey and wanted to give it a try. I helped as much as possible by wiping the screens with the shower blade to keep it clear for her.
Needless to say she did a marvelous job and we fairly whizzed through GY at a very quick rate with the tide still flooding down the Bure. We were on tick-over to maintain steerage but still we whipped through Yarmouth in very quick time. We saw the enormous new yellow post and headed out to Breydon proper. As we passed under Breydon bridge we saw Spirit of Breydon heading our way at a very rapid speed, a huge bow wave crashing down and looking very spectacular. She saw us coming and slowed to reduce the wake which was a bit of a disappointment as I quite like wake surfing. Anyway thank you to the rangers they were being very considerate. As we passed them we opened up the BMC and let her have her head, she looks quite spectacular in this mode and the rangers opened the back door and took a picture, presumably for interest or to tell us off, we weren’t quite sure which.
With bow wave crashing and the front fenders being washed we kept up a steady 1250 revs, which isn’t flat out but is quite economical, and crossed the pond destination Somerleyton.  


Life is too short

M&F

Forum Girly Swot 11.02.2011

OldBill
Aug-02-2013 @ 8:18 PM                           Permalink
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I think maybe you exaggerate a little, regarding the poor holiday weather Malanka gets. The 3 times you passed us during the last week in June the weather was wonderful.  Smile
Incidentally, although I know other Forumites were out that week, I only spotted 1 other logo (at Salhouse) on a H.W. boat not on my list of those out & about

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